Work Sucks

I Am Going Straight to Hell

I just know it. There is no way God will let me through those pearly gates knowing full well how many times I have throat-punched, crotch-kicked, cut and KILLED folks…WITH MY MIND. Isn’t that what we are taught in church? Though ye thinkest it, thou mayest well have doneth it. Or something like that.

Trouble is now I am verbalizing my intentions. Loud enough for my co workers to hear. Most of the time I am merely venting, letting off steam to prevent a bigger explosion further down the road. Also I generally do it for the laughs. But sometimes, like all good sarcasm, there is a kernel of truth thinly concealed among the biting words.  Only the most perceptive can detect it, and not all will think to apply it to themselves.

Today I have single-handedly plotted the maiming of quite a few people. Typed a lot of short and sweet emails, only to backspace-backspace-backspace-delete-delete-delete and try again. “No no no can’t say that…she won’t even know what I’m referring to…OMG for the love of Pete could you just use your brain FOR ONCE?????? WTFreshHell is this??? REALLY?????” And that’s just been a couple of emails this morning. I have to be careful, though, so as not to disturb and perturb “BooBoo the Bear” and veer into Whiner Territory.  (see previous post concerning Whiners)  It’s so easy for me to go there these days, ya’ll just don’t understand.

dead inside

This is totally me most days. #michaelscottismyspiritanimal #whentheofficeisreallife #painfulbuttrue #pleasehelp

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