Dreams

How Did I Wind Up Here? and other questions I keep asking myself…

Here I am, knocking on 49’s door and I find myself asking myself “How did I wind up here?” daily. No college degree (YET!), overweight (despite surgery – NOT a foolproof solution kids!), unemployed (I suspect my spicy attitude and mouth finally hit their adorable limit this time), living on my in-laws property in a glorified 1 bedroom/1 bath storage building (but the 14’ ceilings make it seem so roomy!) with my three Chihuahuas (you HAVE to note their breed – they are racist little assholes and that is most definitely due to their size and breed, trust me!) and my poor husband. We have somehow managed to stay married for 29 years without killing each other physically, but I am pretty sure we have damn well tried to mentally. Just don’t bring up a block of sliced cheese… #triggered!

I feel like I am living a double life, but now with much less money.  We own a home in south Arkansas (paid for in October – YAY!) but live here in northwest Arkansas. Most of my stuff is back there, and as far as I’m concerned it can go in the trash. Well, the majority of it anyway. I guess one benefit to this is I am far more willing to shed useless junk. I’m calling this my “Marie Kondo moment” – if it doesn’t spark joy or weighs too much or takes up too much room it’s OUT! My two youngest still live in the house, but one will be getting married in December and the other will be evicted once she graduates from college next year – don’t worry, she has a plan ya’ll!  My oldest finally got his life together and moved out of state – he seems to have found his people and I am so proud.

So what are we doing up here, and more importantly, what am I going to do with my life? Good question. Hopefully the answer will be revealed soon. Until then, stay tuned!

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