Such a loaded blog post. Let’s see…
I’ve learned a lot about these types of conversations in the past 9 months. I’ve heard rumors of them, I’ve been the subject of them, I’ve been informed of them and have even observed them firsthand. What I’ve learned is this – the words “triangulated conversation” are just fancy-talk for good old-fashioned GOSSIP.
What makes those that I have been informed of usually always directly involve me. In the past 3 weeks I have been told: I am one of the sources of office negativity, I am a mean person, I am not dependable nor am I trustworthy. All of these descriptions of me have come from my subordinate employees, told to them by our superior.
Any time that I have tried to come to my own defense in the face of any of these wildly inaccurate descriptions of myself (usually when I’m called into the principal’s office and told what others have allegedly said about me), I am told that we will NOT be having any, you guessed it, “triangulated conversations”.
Color me confused, but isn’t that the whole reason we were having the discussion in the first place – the result of your very own triangulated conversation that included others but not the primary subject, me? Oh…that’s right…you will NEVER fully admit to your part in this, and when I press you about it, you start to tear up and tell me you can’t trust anyone in our office and that includes me. Boo-fucking-hoo. Those tactics no longer work on me, and if that makes me a mean person then so be it. That brings me to my next point…
(this meme is funny but also 100% accurate)
…micromanagement (but not really). I can thank another upper-level person for this beauty, and this particular person really should know better. After a scathing dress down of myself (which I did ask to be a part of, see “triangulated conversations” above) , I was told that it was my job to stand over the staff, directing their every move and being 100% aware of everything they were doing and working on at all times – “and that’s NOT micromanaging!”
I’m sorry, but that is the very definition of micromanagement. Only someone who has not been in the workplace but a millisecond or is delusional would think otherwise. Considering the person’s age and education, I’m going with the second option. I refuse to manage the staff in this way. I’ve had micromanagers (current one included) and there really isn’t one positive thing I can say about them or that way of handling your employees.
A direct result of both of these situations mentioned has been a toxic negative environment (for which I have been blamed) as well as the loss of four employees within the last 3 weeks. Since January, there have been two others who have also left (without notice, I might add). Those six employees have all pointed back to one source – the triangulated conversational micromanager. None of her accusations about me have held water nor have her “conversations” with these employees been verified to be accurate.
So…I am back on the market! I need to move on for my mental and physical health, and to move where I am needed and appreciated.
Wish me luck!!