2020 Sucks, Coronavirus, Positive thoughts, Quarantine, Snark

Quarantine Diaries: Day 9990

So this working from home has been going really well, with the exception of being stuck in a small room with my husband and our three dogs with no where to escape to. And the horrible DSL we have to endure. Oh and the fact that we live 30 minutes from civilization and the only drive thru/takeout we have to choose from out here is McD’s and Sonic.

I have tried my best to stay home and only go out when necessary. This involves trips for groceries and scouting (read: stalking) the TP aisle at Walmart. Speaking of TP, I didn’t realize how bougie my butt was until I ran out of Charmin. Nothing else is quite right after that.  Arkansas is not requiring us to wear masks and personally I am glad. I tried to wear a dust mask when I worked in the yard years ago (allergies suck), and I didn’t last long. Claustrophobia and being unable to breathe freely ended that quickly. Unfortunately, when going into such places as Walmart and not wearing a mask, even the slightest cough can cause yourself issues. Take my shopping trip last Saturday for example. I went to a Neighborhood Market because a) it is closer to me and b) I didn’t need to pick up much of anything but groceries. Shelves were still patchy, which was a bit frustrating but whatever. I was fine until I rounded the last aisle and I felt like I had swallowed a bug. My throat started twitching and closing up and I thought I was going to choke, so I coughed. Ok no big deal. Then I couldn’t stop. Gradually I noticed that more and more people were watching me and either backing away or busting a uie (skkurrrt!) as they rounded the corner. Tears began to stream down my cheeks and snot shot out of my nose but NO ONE CARED IF I WAS DYING…you know what they were thinking. CORONAVIRUS! (You totally just read that in Cardi B’s voice, didn’t you? Lol) All I needed was a drink and to catch my breath. I had even put my face down in my shirt so as to keep all my germs to myself.  My final thought, as I assumed I would die in the freezer section of a Walmart Neighborhood Market, was gee I hope I don’t lose control of my bladder right about now.

I also do not currently know what day it is. I only know it’s Monday because I watched Outlander last night. Working in radio, we always work a day ahead so now I’m really messed up! I have no idea if I have developed the ‘Quarantine 15’ because all I’ve worn are leggings, sweats, and t-shirts – sports bras if I’m feeling fancy or going to town. My cooking repertoire has grown exponentially though, but I do miss sushi. I miss it so much I bought some frozen sushi from Aldi, and you know it’s bad if I didn’t think it was half bad. (trust me, it works in situations like this but never at any other time!) I have figured out at least a dozen new ways to add vodka to a drink, and how to start drinking earlier in the day. What can I say, it makes the time pass by and life more bearable.

While I do make light of things, we are living in a very scenic and serene area at the moment, and for that I am grateful. I can watch deer from my windows during the day, and trash pandas on my Ring doorbell at night. Spring means the frogs and birds are awake and gracing us with their songs. I could do without the pollen because it hates me, but I know it’s necessary.  I could also do without the severe weather but that’s really nothing new as we deal with it every spring. The issue I have is when it wrecks my Jeep…then we have a big problem!

Speaking of my Jeep – I am loving this 3 weeks-to-a-gallon gas mileage I’m getting on these dirt cheap gas prices! I hate how decimated the oil industry is as a result though. Because of this, our 401k’s are taking a BEAT-DOWN. I can’t bring myself to look at the damage just yet, but I know it’s bad.

So, take care of yourselves – I’m not going to say wash your hands because we are all adults and surely your mama taught you that already. What I WILL say though is this: try really hard not to kill each other. #thistooshallpass


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